REWIND && REMEMBER [entries|friends|calendar] amls_is_love [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

still to come.. the worst part, and you know it. [Wednesday June_3rd_2009 @ _9:12] [ mood | blank ] my whole body hurts. my eyes feel extremley heavy and burn almost as if they were bleeding. today, we lost control of the vehicle, spun out, crashed, and burst into flames. this time, i fought back, i didnt let  you hurt me without showing you what im worth. but the captain went down with the ship.  of course though, this is all my fault, simply because i ignored all the signs that you were throwing my way. Giant bright yellow warning signs were everywhere and yet i chose to look past them, ignore them. look where it got me, struggling for breath. i made it end for the simpliest, yet complicated reasoning.. ((you)) always being on my mind. every question i ask myself, all the answers lead back to you in some way. you left an imprint on my mind and it takes a weight off my shoulders everytime i think of you. if dolphins had wings they would carry me out of here and bring me to you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLrsoX1X46Q oh twilight... i cant WAIT for this movie __!!

[Monday June_1st_2009 @ _6:04] [ mood | sad ] i guess i missed my chance. not everyone gets handed chances left and right.. so maybe i should stop passing them out so much? what a horrible horrible day.. i guess it could always be worse tho. god.. i wish i didnt mess things up with you. now i dont have a duckiee.  :( im in the process of writing a song.. and i think its going beautifully. but now... the muse is gone, i might have to take the song into a new direction. __!!

timing is everything [Friday May_22nd_2009 @ _6:17] everybody knows that you gotta move forward.look ahead and not to the past. We just took ten steps back the only thing that is different is now we know what it would be like if things would go our way. Beautiful memories, even though there aren't that many...they were filling. I wish we could fast forward through our lives to where time was actually on our side for once. I wonder what that life would be like. You make my eyes smile. Timing is everything. We will have our time. :) __!!

[Friday May_8th_2009 @ _1:00] Taking hold, breaking in. the pressures all need to circulate. mesmeriezed and taken in. moving slowly, so it resonates. Its tme to rest, not to sleep away. My thoughts alone,try to complicate. Ill do my best, to seek you out. and be myself, and not impersonate. I tried so hard to not walk away, and when things dont go my way, ill still carry on and on just the same. Ive always been strong, but cant make this happen, cause i need to breathe. i wanna breathe you in. the fear of becoming, so tired of running. cause i need to breathe,i wanna breathe you in. Im going in- so cover me, your compass will help me turn the page. The laughing stock ill never be, because i wont let them take me. I tried so hard to not walk away and when things dont go my way ill still carry on and on just the same. Ive always been strong but cant make this happen cause i need to breathe i wanna breathe you in. fear of becoming, im so tired of running.. Took a while to seee, all the love thats around me. through the highs and lows theres a truth that i know, and its you. Duckie? __!!

i cant remember the last time the earth stood still [Wednesday May_6th_2009 @ _12:24]   You know you can't give me what I need. And even though you mean so much to me, I can't wait through everything, && youre coming home.. i dunno how its gonna be.. i want it to be different. good different. __!!

[Sunday April_26th_2009 @ _2:00] [ mood | lonely ] the best part about missing someone, is that moment of reunition, where you feel infinite. overwhelmed with happiness. you just wanna freeze time and stay there. -- I find myself smiling and laughing alot. i find myself being happy. Not completly over certain issues, but subsided them enough to where i can feel again. Except something is missing. and its something that spins my head around, makes me breathless, makes me feel like a little kid again. It's forbidden. but almost impossible for me to forget.. & its not here. __!!

say goodbye to a tangerine sky say hello say hello to tomorrow [Monday April_20th_2009 @ _7:12] [ mood | happy ] [ music | kottonmouth kings ] this is the first 420 in like 5 years that i havent been able to celebrate. what a shame. a sad sad shame. i look like im stoned anyways in those pics :) 2 more days til kate comes home. toot toot.  anyways, im happy. I just need to get back in the mix of things, and hang out with kids who make me feel complete. well i have really nothing to say because my life is prettty boring, since im growing up too fast. i need to slow down. IM STARVING. peace :) AMLS is love (7:19:15 PM): well fuck my ass xC SO LOVELY (7:20:00 PM): i dont have the proper tools __!!

sing me something soft [Sunday April_19th_2009 @ _10:06] [ mood | amused ] [ music | The shins- sealegs ] waiting in sams car for a good 2inahalf hours at the livingston county jail! that was a trip.     What a good weekend. Could have been just a little bit better, but it was definetly good. SO BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE. and now the weather is going to be pooey all week. :( what a letdown.. this week is still going to be amazing (ihope) KATIE COMES HOME FOR GOOD ON THURSDAY, i couldnt be more fuckin happy about that. im gonna have my best friend back. eeeep. lovelovelovelove. i really dont like when boys take advantageof what they have.. and i dont like my friends being sad because boys are jerks. D'ANNA JOHNSON, YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE BETTER.... i have 3 tests and a paper due tomorrow and i dont feel like studying so im not going to. ;) life is beautiful. You're beautiful the choice is yours to be loved. __!!

[Monday April_13th_2009 @ _9:09] ppl deal with emotions in many different ways. I for one dont like to show that im sad, or that somethings bothering me. and for me, i guess the best way is to keep myself distracted... find anything to keep my mind from going to that thought that is upsetting me. I hung out with DP today. holy hell i fucking missed her, and love her bitch ass to death.. laughing the whole time like we were stoned out of our minds, but were completly sober.. i love that. :) __!!

[Sunday April_12th_2009 @ _2:03] as you got in my car and pushed the seat back to where you were completly comfortable. i didn't hesitate at all and jumped over the center counsel and wrapped my arms around you. I grabbed your face and started kissing you non stop. inbetween kisses "i missed you" were the only words coming out of my mouth.. You got up, with my legs and arms wrapped around you, you holding my body threw me gently on top of my car. While you floated above me, staring into my eyes, started kissing me, fully and completly. You told me how much you loved being with me and i said to never leave me.. with another full kiss you pulled back, stared into my eyes, and whispered "ill be with you until the sun burns out" only a second passed and it was all repeated. ive realized alot of things.. who i want in my life, and who i dont. it feels good knowing you are going to be there.  :) __!!

[Friday March_20th_2009 @ _5:11] I. MISS. MELISSA. VIRGINA. HUTCHISON. GETTIN DRUNK TONIGHT. WOOOP. __!!

i screamed your name at the sky.. until i lost my voice [Tuesday March_3rd_2009 @ _10:41] [ mood | sad ] [ music | save yourself-- senses fail ] mmm i havent written in this thing forever.. reading back on my old life and my old friends makes me really miss who i was. But when i think about it right now, i am very content with who i have become. if you woulda asked me 3 years ago what i was going to do with my life and what i wanted to be, i wouldnt have been able to answer.. but now i can say that in September im going to have my MA degree and ill be on my way to getting my RN degree, very exciting, but very scary. Everythings exactly in order of how i want my life to be. Filled with love and so many opportunities and the most perfect friends. && even tho my very best friend is hundreds of miles away from me, she still has found a way to be enclosed in my heart. Katlyn Krista Steele, i love you so very much, and miss you more than anything. please come home to me soon.. "I wish that i could be there on your special day. Although all the distance in the world couldnt keep my heart away. Youre my sister, my wife, my souls other half, i miss my summer days where all we did was laugh. With your beautiful smile and drugdealers on speed dial. Purple forest hazy days or just driving for endless miles. Chemistry class is where we got started, & the villages snowey parking lot is where we raced nd ran. the cubbie where we toked and toked, our group of friends and blunts so big you choked. The hill is where we got away to scream at sunsets and pass school days. Two best friends, just sunsets smiles and ciggarettes. No worries at all, No regrets. You made me brave of all my fears. and showed me happiness throughout all these years. I MISS YOU ANN! i wish i was there, but remmeber birthday girl, im lovin you down here." --poem by my best friend Kate :)   __!!

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